The Decision Is Made ...

Looks like Japan will have to put up with me for another year. Yep, that's right. You've heard it here folks. It is official (although I haven't signed my contract yet), I am planning on staying put for the next year.

I thought about it and then thought about it some more. I dreamt about it, talked about it, wrote about it, forgot about it, and then thought about it again. I went 'round and 'round, and then around again until eventually I got dizzy. I went into my meeting last Monday without really knowing what I was going to say.

Under the pressure I started thinking rather clearly. I thought about what I want professionally and the best way to achieve it. I thought about my personal growth since I've been here and whether or not I can find contentment staying where I am, while at the same time continuing to develop this work in progress I call myself. I thought about whether or not I had taken extreme advantage of the opportunity of living in Asia by traveling everywhere I've wanted to and taking in all that I can. Mostly I thought about what I would think in ten years when I reflected back on my decision.

But there was still a large part of me that wanted to come home. Almost all of the reasons being personal. I am surrounded by wonderful people here and I have great friends. Amanda is wonderful, Naoko and her family are amazing, all of the people I work with go to great lengths to make sure that I am taken care of, and my friends occupy the weekends. All of those things considered, I miss my people from back home so incredibly much. I miss the simple things like eating dinner and grandma & grandpa's, singing karaoke with my dad & the fam, tailgating Hawkeye football games, going out with the girls on the weekends, drinking cheap beer at Suds, spending weekends at the condo, taking a coffee break at Cup of Joe with my Freeburg family, watching movies with my sister, awing over baby Madi, or playing Monopoly with the fam. Yes, I am fully aware that these things will be there when I get home and that I will be able to do all of it when I come back, but a part of me always feels like I'm missing out on it now.

The best part of this whole decision making process has been the enormous amount of support I have received. From my best friends to everyone in my family to my colleagues, as well as my people in Japan. I can't say enough thanks for that. I have the most amazing people in my life. All of the encouragement and support reminded me of the solid relationships I have with the people that mean so much to me. When I first came to Japan I was so afraid that friendships would start slipping away, bonds would be broken, and the closeness that I cherish would fade. This has proven to be so not true. Granted it takes more effort and isn't quite as easy as living in the same country, but it's so worth it. Because of this, I feel comfortable and secure in making the decision to stay another year.

I made some negotiations, mostly in the form of time off. It was SO important to me to be able to come home for a few weeks in the summer and to stay for an extra week at Christmas (two weeks was not long enough!). There wasn't a whole lot of negotiating financially and I will probably be living off of rice and bean sprouts (the two cheapest things in Japan) when I return, but the time is worth it to me.

So there it is. I'll keep everyone updated on my future travels and when exactly I'll be making it home. And remember, you are more than welcome to come visit me!! You know you want to.

Thanks for all the love, support, encouragement, laughs, and perspective while I was making one of the most difficult decisions I've had to make thus far. I love you.

much love,
-tara-
xoxo